(cont.)
Papa came to Carmel with his tears and urgent pleading: “Ako wala asawa liwat, bantay lang Inday. Ako bayad simbahan gwa lang Inday.” My heart would almost break. The community left me in the parlour with Papa, giving me the freedom to decide. Besides, they couldn’t bear Papa’s crying. It was a terrible anguish for me. . .In the heart-breaking presence of Papa I was speechless. I could only look at him in silence. I believe I have chosen the better portion. Shall I be deprived of it? But something did happen. . . I didn’t know how long we were there in the parlour. I just felt the embrace of Our Lady, and as if I was standing on a rock. Then Papa turned towards the door and heeded for home. I was left in peace. After the anguish, the best portion is still mine to relish, I only have to keep still – and the rest is history.
There is one last beautiful experience which I would like to share with you: I have failures in my response to the Lord’s bidding to be holy – to be perfect as the heavenly Father is perfect. But one thing is most certain: The Lord loves me despite myself. His promise never fails. Papa has learned to accept wholeheartedly my vocation. In his hospital bed a priest came, without our asking for one, and he administered the sacrament of Baptism to Papa, just before Papa died. God’s perfect timing, indeed! How can I thank God for this? It was more than I could ask or imagine! That’s how faithful and true God is! And I know, Mary’s hand was also on this. I did try to do what her Son tells me! And behold! I got what my heart desires.
The journey is still long for me. But, I am happy. Christ, my Rock, loves me and gave Himself for me. I can only sing His mercy forever! In my joys and difficulties Mary’s love and protection enfold me. She is my loveliest Azucena, perfuming my life with her motherly presence. To her, I, with the empowerment of my community, will not cease to sing a song of praise:
Pagdayawon ang imong himaya, O Maria, nga Iloy sang Dios.
Bansagon ka sa tanan nga duta. Azucena ka nga maamyon!
Amen.
To read the first parts, click the link below:
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